Why Marriages Fail
Love is beautiful, intoxicating. When you first fall in love, it’s like like seeing the world through new eyes. You feel complete and happy, because you’ve found that wonderful person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Unfortunately, love also has a way of blinding us to our future mate’s flaws and shortcomings. It can also stop us from taking an honest look at ourselves. Oh, there might be nagging doubts and twinges of uncertainty, but they are easily swept aside with hope, optimism, and affection.
No one in their right mind gets married and expects it to fall apart within five years, yet approximately 40 - 50% of marriages in America end in divorce. Why is that?
We ignore the writing on the wall. We either don’t learn as much about our mates as we should, or we ignore the warning signs. We fail to ask enough questions about them and ourselves. That’s part of why marriages fail.
Frank married Beth because he loved her playfulness, spontaneity, and charm. Now he sees his wife as impulsive, shallow, and terrible with money.
Laura married Keith because she thought she could turn him around and make him want to do something with his life; now she’s furious because he still doesn’t seem motivated to do anything apart from work at the same minimum wage, part-time job he’s had for years.
Mark wants children. Even though Samantha made it clear that she didn’t want any, he hoped she would change her mind when her “biological clock” started ticking. But this so-called clock never seemed to start ticking. Samantha is furious when Mark pressures her to have a child, and now he feels frustrated and unfulfilled.
These unhappy endings might have been avoided if only these couples had been honest with themselves and each other. That’s why pre-marriage questions are so important to ask.
