How to Ask Pre Marriage Questions
“So, honey, what’s your biggest ambition in life? Do you want kids? Do you have money in the bank? What are your spending habits like? Do you want to buy a house within the next five years? Will we have a dog?”
While it’s important to find out about things like this BEFORE you walk down the aisle, firing off pre marriage questions like this can make would-be spouses feel like they’re being interrogated. And if you start asking the deep questions too soon, watch out, they might start running for the hills!
Remember, you can often answer some of these questions for yourself by simply observing and listening to your partner. For example, while you may not be able to put a number on how much money someone spends every day, you can get a pretty good idea of whether or not they’re miserly, frugal, or big spenders. A trip to the grocery store together can be enlightening; you’ll learn whether your partner pays attention to price tags, looks for deals, sacrifices quality for price, etc.
If a woman buys a new outfit, a pair of shoes, or a purse every other day, she’ll drive a thrifty man out of his mind. If a man drives an expensive car that he pimped himself but lives in a hovel, you can tell where his priorities are.
But of course, there are some pre marriage questions that you’ll need to ask. You can drop them casually into conversation, or you can ask point-blank. For example, asking “How many kids do you want?” could lead to a conversation about childrearing.
Don’t ask the deep, probing too early in the relationship. Asking about personal finances is touchy enough without doing it on the first date!
